She said her name was "party"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
