Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
