Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
