One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
