i would punch a child for taco bell
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
