Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
