Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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