Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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