Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
