dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
