Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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