So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
