may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
