Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
