I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
