ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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