I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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