Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
