is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
