yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
