He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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