.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
