I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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