i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
