We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
