Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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