I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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