considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
me + whiskey = a bad person
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
