He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
