yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
