Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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