everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I need moral support for this bender
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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