it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
