flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
