I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
