Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
