Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
