so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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