Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
its liver damage thursday
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
