at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
