I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to make out with him forever
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
