when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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