we need to drink 2009 down the drain
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Pants are for mortals
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
