We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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