Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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