Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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