if i can run in heels then i can drive
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
