I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
