I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
