Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize