that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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