i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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