Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
