Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
