i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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