just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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