Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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