my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
