They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
