An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
