i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
