I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
