he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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