Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
