where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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