i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
