I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
