I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
